A Weekend Full of Ups and Downs

Well our weekend began with a "Down" yet ended with a refreshing "Up." My friend Mona, which I have mentioned a little bit here and there, invited me to bring Koda and Kenai to her little girl Dilke's preschool party day. First on Friday, they had a little race for the kids to do. I could tell that Koda didn't really seem very into it, but I thought I would still encourage him to participate and he would soon have fun. Well he didn't; he ended up running, but was very confused I could tell. I have learned a lot about my children this weekend and this was the first eye opener for me. I can only imagine what it feels like to be in a new culture with new friends and new languages that they don't speak. As I tried to pay attention and guess what was going on, I would try to explain this in English to Koda. I could tell he just wanted to be done. The race was over.

The next morning on Saturday, was supposed to be a morning full of events. I hoped that today would go better. I got the kids to the preschool early so they could play on the playground a little bit before the party began. I thought this might help them to get all of their energy out and be ready for whatever was ahead. To give you a little background, the preschool that Dilke attends is run by World Vision and is at the very top of the hill of Arugam Bay Point. It is directly next to a Buddhist Temple and small Hindu temple on the other side of that.

Mona showed up on time and the other moms and children followed. Mona had told me to bring the kids a nice outfit, an all white outfit (which I didn't have, didn't bring, and glad I didn't), and a dress-up costume. As I sat surrounded by many moms all speaking in their languages (Singalese and Tamil) and just watching them and the kids play, I noticed the moms start changing their children into white clothes. I asked Mona, who was very busy, what was going on. I soon no longer needed an explanation as I could tell what was about to happen. The children were all dressed up in their white clothing and their teacher began handing them a large leaf filled with flowers. The children all began kissing their flowers in their hands. They all began to walk up the road and Mona began to explain to me as my heart already had sunk into my stomach. These children (some of which their parent/s were Christian) were walking towards the Buddhist temples to pray and give their "offering." I saw Dilke walk with her dad Unga up there, while Mona stayed back and I began to question Mona about why she allowed Dilke to take part in this. Many people along with Mona believe that this is their "culture" and that makes it okay. I began to explain to Mona that my American "culture" says "have no god, party it up, and live for yourself." I told her that I don't care what my "American culture" says, "my culture" says that Papa is THE only way and not to do any of the things that they were about to do. With Mona, I've got to say that her situation is a little tough. She was raised with a Hindu background yet became saved. Her husband was raised with a Buddhist background and is still walking in that. He very much wants Dilke to also walk in that, yet Mona wants her to see the truth; but Mona wants Dilke to choose for herself.

When the children returned, I was glad that Koda and Kenai were playing on the playground and hadn't noticed where the kids had gone. Next they filled a pot with milk and made a fire on the ground and placed the pot over the fire; the milk boiled and spilled over. They all began to cheer and clap. They set fireworks off. Mona said it was their "culture" for saying "Let the games begin." They first had all the children line up and give money to the teacher. Its like they all just handed her money and she handed it back and then they kneeled down at her feet. Yet again, Mona said this was culture. Next the kids all ate, which seemed like the only thing so far that I was okay with letting my kids be a part of. After they were done eating, they all went outside for some "games." They were trying to get Koda closer and I was getting closer to see what was happening. I saw that there was a Buddhist monk that was putting some kind of oil on the children's heads, then which the children knelt to the ground and kissed the monks feet. I quickly grabbed Koda and backed out of there. Mona explained yet again that this was Sri Lankan Culture. When that was finished they had all the kids line up for a relay. I looked Mona in the eye and said, "Is this a game or this another Buddhist culture?" She told me that it was purely a game. Mona had Koda line up and began to explain to him that he was to hop with all of the kids and put his hands on his head like bunny ears. He understood Mona's explanation, but I looked into his eyes and I could tell that he was uncomfortable. My heart began to hurt because I just looked at this little white/tan American that was surrounded by this new culture and all these people saying things that he didn't understand. I stood close to him and told him it would be okay. The race began and Koda did what he was told, he began to hop even with his bunny ears. But about half way down the line, he stopped and put his head down. I ran over to him and the tears began to fill his eyes. I knew that I should've taken him home a long time before that. He was embarrassed and confused and ready to go home. I held him tight in my arms determined to bolt for it. I saw Kenai out of the corner of my eye with some other friends and went to get him and my bags. Mona ran over to me to ask me why I was leaving and the tears began to run down my own face. I tried to explain to her about my kids coming first before anything and that they had been asking to go home a long time before that. And as the tears continued down my face I got out of there fast with Chootie Patah helping me carry the boys. I battled the entire walk home... the thoughts of being a bad parent, of when should I have left? of how do I involve my children in this culture but not in the things of this world? and how do I show these people that there is only one way?- that they must leave all else behind and choose ONE WAY.

Please pray for us as parents on how we are to raise our children in this culture and love on and teach our friends about "Papa's Culture."

We determined that Sunday would be our family day. We woke up early, ate some breakfast, packed a picnic lunch and loaded up the motorbike with beach toys, towels, snorkeling and spearfishing gear and our excited little kiddos. As we all put on our helmets, jump on the bike and start on our way out of the fence, the neighbor kids begin running over to us... "where are you going?" "when will you be back" "can we go swimming when you get back?" We waved good-bye and told them that family is important and that we were spending the day together as a family. We drove off to a remote beach called Peanut Farm. In order to get to the beach, you have to drive through many mud puddles and experience quite the jungle journey.

We arrived at the beautiful, quiet beach. The kids played in the lagoon water that was right next to the ocean. We played with beach toys, snorkeled, body surfed waves, climbed rocks and had a blast together. It was so nice to have peace and quiet and just each other. Cody had planned a special treasure hunt for the kids and they had a blast! He had a treasure map (with burned edges, pictures of rocks and snakes and all the details) that was in a bottle and had it wash up on shore for the kids to find. They followed all the directions and found the X that marked the spot. Koda dug up the treasure with his shovel and found candy and toys in a bag in the sand. They were stoked. Great job Daddy! Fun adventure! I love being married to a creative and fun husband and daddy.

We enjoyed our picnic lunch together and the kids and I took naps while Cody went out spearfishing to catch us dinner; well more like dinner for the week :) It was such a relaxing time to read and nap with the kids and Cody for sure enjoyed "the hunt." He came back with some beautiful huge fish. We packed up our bags and jumped on the bike and headed home. We got home to hear that the waves were going off at A Bay Point. So Koda, Kenai and I went out to take pictures of Cody and the boys surfing. We all walked home together, even the puppies Cookie and Cocoa. It was late and dark and late to start cooking, so we showered up and went out to dinner together. The boys got their favorite Cheese Roti and Cody and I had fish and chips. We all went home and crashed. What a great day to end the weekend and a great beginning to a new week! "A Family that prays together and plays together, stays together" :) (Added a little bit to your quote Waxer)