My First Muslim Wedding

One of the women that I have taught with at the Muslim school was getting married and asked me to come to her wedding. I was happy to go and I took Koda and Kenai along. It was a long 4 hours, but we made it through. I hadn't realized that she asked me to come early while she was getting ready. Koda and Kenai and I sat in a room with the bride while Kavitha did her hair and make-up. The room had no windows and felt like a sauna as more people filled the room. At one point I counted 13 of us in that small room. If there was any time for me to feel claustrophobic, it was then. The kids did amazing, staying entertained with one toy each sitting on a bed and occasionally on the floor; though I wished I had left them at home so they did not have to endure. What was supposed to be one hour of getting her ready and the wedding beginning, turned into 3 hours in that room. The kids and I had sweat dripping down our faces, and all I could think of was how perfect us American girls have our weddings in air conditioning and making sure we don't perspire. And when I looked at this girl, who was marrying a man that she did not know very well, did not love, and was getting ready with sweat dripping every ounce of make-up off; my heart broke for her and I began to think of many girls that have had to go through this. Every time I felt the claustrophobia come on, as I opened the door to plan an escape I quickly noticed that the entire floor of the rest of the house was covered with Muslim women completely covered from head to toe. As the bride was finished getting ready, the family brought us in some food and drinks- we were so thirsty- it was so perfect! Kavitha and I decided to try and find somewhere to sit to watch the wedding, which took place in their front living room (though people sat in every room of the house, trying to catch a glimpse of the actual wedding. We made it through the crowd, the kids and I hopping past people, trying not to step on them. As we made it to the front door, I knew that the outside area was where all the Muslim men were and I needed to cover my head like Kavitha to find our way to the back of the house (where no men were at). 

At the back of the house, after a long 3 hours inside the small room.

I covered my head to show respect to all of the Muslim women there and their culture. Not only that, but I feel more comfortable in front of a crowded area of Muslim women with as much covered as possible. I have felt more uncomfortable around Muslim men than any other men here in Sri Lanka, and I can see why the women want to stay covered- especially with many of the men around.   

Kenai hanging out with in the boys area. I'm peeking around the corner checking on him....

and came out of hiding to get some shots of the groom arriving 2 hours late (just had to laugh at that- only in Sri Lanka!)

Some of the older women that I hung out with in the back of the house. They were getting a crack up listening to me and the kids speaking some tamil. 

As the groom made his way to the front room to see his bride, I ran in to get some shots. I was the only person with a camera to capture their day, so people were pushing me through the crowds to get pictures. I tried to hold on to Koda and Kenai pulling them with me. When I got my first glance at the bride, my heart broke. She was sobbing uncontrollably and then the groom just looked so uncomfortable and akward. Its like he chose her, but she had to come to grips with it actually happening and she was a wreck. When I talked to Kavitha about it later on, she said that the bride was just sad that her dad had recently died and wasn't there. I can fully believe that as I know the feeling of losing your dad and can't imagine not having him there on my wedding day. But as I looked into her eyes, there was more to that. I know that it was saying good-bye to a life that was so different than what she was about to embark on and entering it with a man that she didn't love. Made my heart hurt for these girls. 

I had to walk away after trying to snap some shots and they were all the same and so sad. Later on the family came out back to get me and wanted me to come in and take more pictures. This was the best one I got of them somewhat smiling and they'll probably love having the two white kids in the pic too- Sri Lankan system :) 

What an adventure! Every day is a new experience.